An emergency meeting of the International Council of Thirst Journalists was convened over Zoom today after paparazzi photos of Normal People star and hottie Paul Mescal broke through the malaise of the internet in a manner not unlike his character Connell’s hidden emotional depths bursting through his emotionally stunted exterior at various points in his tumultuous relationship with Marianne.
While experts are in agreement that the photo of the Hulu series star is *chef’s kiss* there has been heated debated amongst members of the International Council of Thirst Journalists about exactly why this photo is so hot and tempting. Breakout rooms devolved into chaos, people angrily pressed the “Leave Meeting” button in a huff, strong words were delivered over muted mics. The Council may never recover, yet we are no closer to an answer. But we do have some theories and, hopefully, we can use them to rebuild some semblance of an orderly and thirst-oriented society. We will not be broken by a photo of Paul Mescal, five-foot-eleven max morning height, strutting down the street with bedhead, no matter how quixotically hot we find it. Let’s investigate.
Is it the expression?
Mescal, possibly experiencing his first paparazzi encounter after becoming famous in the middle of quar, looks positively befuddled—as if he’s just been woken from a nap, or pulled from the reverie of an engrossing book. His lips, which deservedly get quite the star treatment in Normal People, turn down in confusion as his brow knits above his sunglasses. Mescal looks like someone surprised by the appearance of their significant other in a TikTok video. He’s like “Babe, wot’s all this then?” and the TikToker hisses “Just go along with it! It’s the PB&J challenge!”
Is it the bedhead?
Adding to his bemused air is Mescal’s hair, looking as tousled and distressed as Connell and Marianne’s dormitory sheets. Is confusion hot? Maybe! I don’t know. Scientists are, well, confused about it, and it’s making everyone feel real weird, emotionally.
Is it the products?
Why doesn’t he use a bag? Is it an environmental conservation thing? Or is he just being annoying about it? Either way, is it hot? Probably not, but if you’re a big fan of fitting a lot into a big hand, well, today’s your lucky day.
Is it the shorts?
Okay, it’s not not the shorts. Mescal, a former footballer, has what we in the industry call more legs than a bucket of chicken, and they are on full display in this photo. No, it does not seem that they have seen the sun in ages—even Edward Cullen was like “Wow, quite pale!” Still, the paparazzi camera treats Mescal’s thighs almost as lovingly as Normal People’s film camera does. Dear Paul Mescal: Never wear long pants, please.
Is it the jacket?
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