Look, we get it. You’re a pro hospital administrator. You can whip a healthcare institution into shape at a moment’s notice. Queues of people line up in an orderly fashion to be seen by your top docs, who successfully diagnose them in mere seconds before sending them for successful cures.

You, my friend, are a tippity-top, total heathcare hero. You’re a champ. You’re the best in the biz. You’re certainly better than the administrator described in our last Xbox Wire article.

But have you considered aliens?

You know, aliens. The grey things? The ones with the eyes? The ones that are pouring through your hospital doors as we speak? Oh, my sweet summer child. If you haven’t dealt with aliens, you haven’t seen the half of it.

And what about your hospitals out in the sticks? Do you have an ecological vibe on the go? Are you planting carrots, for goodness sake? Are you successfully monitoring power use? Are you dealing with the political ambitions of an ecological megalomaniac? Or are you just consuming power & chucking out CO2 to your heart’s content? And I thought you were a doctor. A champ.

You know, maybe I need to look at you again. Maybe you need to look at yourself. Or maybe you need to check out the Close Encounters and Off the Grid expansions for Two Point Hospital, which are fortuitously included in Two Point Hospital: Jumbo Edition.

Tell me more, Mr…

Well, OK then. As you wish.

First up, let’s delve into the world of Close Encounters. Harrison Wolf, Two Point County’s intrepid local DJ, has thoughts. Thoughts of a conspiracy that is wrapping itself around the town of Goldpan. This town has recently seen a fireball streaking above its sandy climes, and not everyone thinks it’s a natural phenomenon. No, you see, Harrison thinks it’s aliens.

But it goes deeper. So much deeper. What if the town of Goldpan was just a façade? What if, deeper behind the scenes, somewhere behind a murky curtain, there was a military base, teeming with aliens? What if they are already here, walking among us? What if you, for some reason, have to build a hospital here?

My goodness. What if?

Slip across the map of Two Point County, though, and you’ll find yourself somewhere different entirely. The sand dunes part and are replaced by a lush and verdant landscape of trees, and oxygen and, blimey, hope! This is the setting of the Off the Grid expansion.

Hope, you see, because the local politician, Tabitha Windsock, has a dream. A dream that’s green. A green dream. She’s building an eco-city with her name on it, and she needs your help to cure the people in her constituency so that they can remain healthy, keep voting for her, and, of course, keep paying taxes.

You’ll encounter wild ailments like Hare Brained, Root Snoot and Bodily Druids, as well as the troubling-sounding Flappy Hamper, in your quest to cure the county.

But it doesn’t end there, because the Jumbo Edition also includes earlier DLCs like Bigfoot (help an eccentric billionaire who just so happens to be a Yeti manage his snowy healthcare resort / castle), and Pebberley Island (help explorer Wiggy Silverbottom blaze a sterilized trail through the tropics in a quest for the fountain of eternal life).

Not only that, but if you’re like me, someone who likes to place lamps and rugs down at arbitrary angles for hours on end to please your patients, you’ll get a real kick out of the two included item packs – the Retro Items Pack and the Exhibition Items Pack.

Retro brings to the fore some mighty props of yesteryear, like pinball machines, ducks to hang on your wall, old televisions, gramophones and more. I love placing them all down in my staff rooms! Not only that, but you’ll get an interactive photo booth, an emu ride and more.

The Exhibition Items Pack is an exploration of the nuance of sculptural art. Take in such seminal works as “keys on a podium,” and a large pig. Place an orrery down in your lobby and become transfixed by the motion of the celestial bodies. You know what? Just stick a whole flippin’ dinosaur skeleton in your lobby while you’re at it.

We know you’re going to have a blast with this stuff and can’t wait for you to get stuck in! Please check out the Two Point Hospital: Jumbo Edition today on the Xbox Store and tell all your friends. Or else we’ll send the aliens after you.