Most people perhaps remember fountain pens as “those inky things that I was forced to write with at school”, or perhaps “that pen that’s always secretly a gun or a car in a James Bond movie”, and although you would be right on both counts, fountain pens are also beautiful artefacts that some of us here at Nintendo Life (read: me) spend way too much money on.
Luckily, we (again, me) are not alone. Not only have we found a kindred pen-loving spirit in Mirre, an illustrator on Twitter going by the handle @Foervraengd, but we have also found someone who loves and appreciates the Ace Attorney games.
Now, ordinarily we would not be allowed to write about pens on this here Nintendo-based website (at least, until Nintendo gets into the stationery market) but Mirre’s April 26th thread about the Ace Attorney characters as pens gives us a darn good reason to wax lyrical about this fine-nibbed beauties and no editor can stop
Yes. Of course Phoenix Wright, Mr Ace Attorney himself, is a blue Lamy. This exact Lamy is the mainstay of many 14-year-olds who are still forced to use fountain pens at school: reliable, friendly, and practical, it gets the job done.
Edgeworth’s pen is just *chef’s kiss* perfect, wonderful, brilliant. This pen is expensive, old-fashioned, and something you might expect to find in the study of an actual lawyer. Bonus points for the screw-top lid, which is just the right amount of fussy for a man who still wears a frilly cravat even though no one told him to.
We can’t resist a dig at Apollo being pocket-sized, but the Kaweco Sport is a great choice for the lil guy — it’s cute and spunky, it comes in fun colours, and makes you look kinda cool when you take it out in lectures. It’s no classic, for sure, but who needs a classic when you can grab a lovely fashion pen like this one? (Spoilers: the Kaweco Sport will later become jaded and prickly after a series of misfortunes in court, but it’s still cute as heck.)
We honestly think Godot deserves something to match his suaveness a little better, but we can’t deny that the colour match here is on point (that’s a pen joke!).
Gumshoes pen comparison, meanwhile, is a little cruel, but… well… he is a bit useless. Bic ballpoints are a go-to for pretty much anyone who can’t stand the slightly pretentious fountain pen, but it’s also a bit crappy, isn’t it? You’re never quite sure if today is the day that it leaves a sticky trail of gluey ink in its wake. Gumshoe, in the first Ace Attorney game, is supposed to be thirty years of age, and yet he behaves more like a bumbling, nearly-retired cop who can’t wait to take his pension and lie down forever. That kind of unearned exhaustion is cheap ballpoint energy, through-and-through.
Calling Larry Butz a pencil is an insult to pencils, even shoddy school pencils.
But Klavier… of course the stylish, handsome rockstar would be a pen and an ink. And of course he’d be limited edition. If it were possible to be a groupie for a pen, this one would have legions of screaming fans begging for its attention.
We have nothing to say about Charley’s pen, other than it being really nice to see one of the underappreciated Ace Attorney characters getting some screentime.
But we had to show Pearl’s pen, because… well, because we (I) have this pen and it is the cutest darn thing. The different nib sizes have different faces on! Also, just like Pearl, the Pilot Kakuno doesn’t get taken seriously because of its vaguely twee, childlike nature — and yet, this pen can write essays the same as any other, just as Pearl can help Phoenix and Apollo take down criminals.
We hope you enjoyed this incredibly self-indulgent piece about pens and lawyers. What’s your weird hobby, and what game would you love to see it combined with? Let us know in the comments below.